not a good day
everyone around me is noticing..
im having a lil trouble getting by
my schedual is crammed
sleep doesnt come easy
i barely get to see my best friend
the man that i love
but thats ok i dont want him to see me like this
ssssoooo much is happening in me that only i can do anything about
he doesnt need to worry
not quite sure how i feel about it yet
pretty sure i hate it
so...
speaking of mimis my meme (grandma) caughed her way into the hospital tonight
...again
just in time for her 88th birthday celebration
i knew something was up...
she cant really talk becuase of her stroke
i spend hours with her every wednesday just me and her in her rest home
weve never been so close
but when she did try to talk yesturday it was like she was choking on her words
now i kinda regret making her laugh so much
her lungs dont like laughter
hmm...what more must God throw on my plate to wake me up from this
will i crash and burn...or turn to Him and give Him all control
i know the right answer
but can i do it whole heartedly?
thats the question
i dont have to try to lie or justify or be fake with God
He knows my heart
can i make the right choice and place my total trust in Him?
im trying
easier said then done
i want a plan i hate uncertainty
You know best
i need to start believing it without a doubt
i have no control
for the only thing for certain is uncertainty
Ana giving fullheartedly in all you do is the HARDEST thing you will ever do! i have trouble with the samething! you dont want to wait and know how things will work out you want to KNOW NOW! Your grandma has lived a long and prolly fruitful life, nd probably will continue to fight you just have to help her by praying and being there :) even making her laugh :) ana you aer smart and strong in your faith, God will see how hard youre working and he'll make a way ;) i love you :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes we need to step back a few steps, take a breath and walk at it from a different way. hang in there :)
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